Teddy Grahams

Chopper was adopted a few months before my now ex-husband and I were married. We fell in love with him and wanted to be sure that he was in good hands while we were away on our honeymoon. Most of our friends at the time were dog people, so for Chops to stay with someone while we were gone was out of the question. (Most dogs tend to be frightened of this 19 lb monster. They just can't handle it!) The obvious solution was to divide the 9 days. My friend Sara would take days 1-4 and Bret's friend Chris would take days 5-9. We had taken the time to train both Sara and Chris on how to take care of the Monster. Food is stored here, litter box and scoop are here, etc. Our minds were at ease that our Chopper would be in good hands, so off we went!

We were having a fabulous time. We took in the sights, did some shopping, and had some much needed rest and relaxation, but for some reason I was terribly worried about Chopper. I convinced Bret to call Chris for a check-up. I could tell from his facial expressions while on the phone, that things were not going so well. As it turns out, Chris and Sara got their days mixed up, and had both taken excellent care of Chopper for the first four days we were gone. But this was day 8 and no one had checked on the monster at all for the last four days. Let the panic begin.

Now I know cats are not like dogs, and can be left alone with food, water, and a litter box for quite some time, but Chopper is not like most cats. When left unattended, Chopper turns into Captain Destruct-O. I immediately asked Chris to head over to the apartment, what he found when he got there looked like a scene from National Lampoon's Animal House. The house was completely destroyed. The couch cushions were on the floor, lamps had been knocked over, curatains hung by a thread to the window and various knick knacks lay broken in the floor. However, the strangest thing Chris found was Chopper lying in the kitchen floor in a self-induced Teddy Grahams coma. (Bret and I had aquired a very large box of Teddy Graham snack packs through a friend.) Chopper had opened the box (claws like tiny razor edged box cutters), opened every pack of Teddy Grahams, and had himself a Teddy Graham feast. He was drunk on Teddy Grahams.

Chris, being the wonderful friend that he is, proceeded to clean up the Teddy Grahams along with the rest of the house before we got home. He also stayed the night with Chopper to make sure the Monster would be OK after his Teddy Graham gorge.

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